big difference

The difference between being assertive and aggressive is that being assertive is getting an intruder off your property before the person breaks into your home. It's not only keeping the intruder out of your home, but it's also getting that person off your property before the person can do any damage. Being aggressive is the mental and emotional equivalent of chasing the intruder off your property and down the street. While you might feel this is necessary in order to protect your property, you've crossed the line from assertive into aggressive. A lot of people -- who thought that they were "protecting" themselves -- cross the line from being assertive into being aggressive, and they unwittingly provoke a violent response.